Rewriting my story | Not going to ask again for permission to change my life!

I pressed play and I heard these words:

You are your rescue, no one else is going to rescue you. Stop seeking permission by asking- “Can I be great?”, “Can I be brilliant?”, “Can I change?”- STOP ASKING FOR PERMISSION! Make a decision to turn your life around- this is a choice nobody can make for you. It has got to be YOUR CHOICE!


Ah! That word right there was for me! And I decided today to stop asking for permission and go on ahead and be great. So I’m going to start with these 3 steps:

1. BELIEVE.  I’ve got to have unwavering faith, believe in myself, believe that I CAN DO IT and switch off the evil negative voices in my head.

2. PLAN. Make sure it is actionable steps. Set milestones. I’m going to start with baby steps. I’ve always made the mistake of setting big goals (ain’t nothing wrong with setting big goals) but I realised that I tend to fail quickly when I set big goals. So I am going to set little goals and increase them as I go on this journey.

Some of my goals:

  • I need to lose 15 kg before my birthday May 30th. I got about 10 weeks before that, so each week I am going to work towards loosing 1.5 kg and probably increase my milestone as my body gets use to exercising! Wow! Let me go look for my running shoes!
  • I want to revive my relationship with God and spend some more time with Him. So instead of setting a goal to read the whole bible in one year, I have decided to set weekly goals- Choose a chapter a week and as I get consistent, increase the chapters I read and the time I spend meditating.

3. ACCOUNTABILITY. When you are accountable to someone, you tend to see your goal through. I also need to tackle that fear of failure and indecisiveness and hold myself accountable too. So please, please my dear friends:

“Don’t hold me accountable to the woman that I am. Hold me accountable to the woman that I am becoming”. 

Transformation is a mental state. It’s a conscious decision. I don’t need your permission to change neither should you ask me for my permission. I’ve got to really really quit looking for validation from other people! Seriously!

Wanting to transform and change some aspects of my life is sure not an easy decision to make but it’s one decision I got to make. I need to make some drastic changes concerning my health and I am really struggling balancing my business, my health and my family life. I also need to grow my business to a point where finances can be steady. Yeah I need to change all this, I’ve known for a long time but today I had to access my life and find out what seemed to be holding me back and in the past when I tried to change why didn’t it work?

  • Where there patterns in my life that I seemed to be repeating over and over again?
  • How do I want to define my life?
  • What do I see as the meaning or purpose of my existence?
  • Why is balance in my life, health and family so important to me?
  • How do I want to be remembered?

And then I had to ask myself ‘WHY’ I want to make these changes? Why is it so important? Here’s some of my why’s:

  • I want to give my son the best life, more than what I had. Be able to provide him with teachable moments that will make him grow into a strong and successful man.
  • Without good health, it would be difficult to be there as a mother and wife. I want to live long and enjoy life to the fullest.
  • Money don’t buy you love or happiness but can sure make life more comfortable! I need to make more money, so I need to take actionable steps to grow my company.
  • I am tired of struggling, I know I can rewrite my story.
  • Growing my business will encourage women who are about to give up and inspire them to persevere. They’ll hear my story and be so inspired to forge ahead -and yes my story is sure interesting!

Knowing my ‘WHY’ encourages me to take the first step to rewriting my story and be willing to make lots of sacrifices along the way. This is scary but it’s so going to be worth it! I am ready to change my story and change my life.

When you’ve reached rock bottom, broke and broken, GET UP & PRESS RESET!- Lisa Nichols

Thank you Lisa Nichols



  1. This is, by far, one of the most astounding and beautiful blog posts I’ve ever read! Thank you so much for this Joyezka! This post truly motivates and inspires me. I wish you all the best in your journey to success and happiness! You’re so right. Transformation is a MENTAL process. “Excellence is not an act but a habit.” 🙂



  2. “Transformation is a mental state.” Brilliant!

    Find the most important thing in your life, then define your life around it. Children learn work ethic by watching you work. They learn love by watching you love. My son is a writer, poet and professor who learned from his mother’s imperfection and struggles. I explored my desire to write by watching my son.

    You do not have the sole responsibility to herd your family. You learn lessons from each other every day in every way.

    BTW: I live in a dog house and the dogs let me live here with my computer, a husband, and an obsessive desire to write. I couldn’t be happier. Transformation is truly a mental state. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


  3. I am visiting your blog from Suzie81’s blogging party. This is a very well written post and so inspiring. I think you speak some truths that are important for everyone to hear (or read). When we realize that we have to do what is good and right for ourselves, and not because of what other people think, we have gone a long way. Approval of others might be a fleeting thing but we always have to be able to live with ourselves.



  4. I love everything about this post! I have been guilty of seeking validation from others, too, and it is so counterproductive to reaching goals. Good for you for no longer asking permission to be great- go get it! 🙂



    1. Thanks for putting a smile on my face at this hour, at my side of the continent! It took me a long while to get there but sister, sometimes I still find myself doing the same thing I said I won’t do again *smh! It’s a gradual journey and I am winning! Thanks for stopping by Karen 🙂 ❤



  5. Great post Joy, and I love that quote about not needing permission to change. I have sought permission so many times, and the thing is until we give our own permission we mostly don’t accept or even hear it from other people.
    I also like what you wrote about goals. I had the same habit of setting goals that felt out of reach and then feeling that I’d failed. So for years I didn’t set goals at all, and now I’m getting better at setting achievable ones whilst still having a wider vision.
    Thanks for sharing this.



    1. Ohhh! Thank you Yvonne for stopping by! It took me while to get into the habit of not asking for permission and feeling guilty for taking a bold step- I am evolving!



  6. From 1000 voices: how do you know what woman you are becoming? If you hold yourself accountable to her, and do not measure up, can you forgive yourself? We are perfect as we are. If you really want, I could share with you two of my blog posts on that; and I am not certain we completely disagree; I would like to share my posts for your consideration, so we could work out together where we differ-

    er, did you lose that weight in time?



  7. I love so much about this. I think so much of change comes down to simply deciding for yourself to do it – because no one else can make that decision for you. And yes, stop asking permission. Just start.



    1. Yes! You so right! It only starts with a decision then another decision to follow through with the ‘first decision’. Thank you, thank you for stopping by Louise!!



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