If We Were Having Coffee | Home

If we were having coffee, I will tell you that during this week I have been drifting in and out of depression, alienation, home-sickness, unfulfillment, happiness, laughter, hopelessness, sadness, love, sadness, hopelessness, laughter, happiness, unfulfillment, home-sickness, alienation, depression… have you felt like that before, I’ll ask?

If we were having coffee, I’ll tell you how winter is slowly creeping in here in Cape Town, how it’s so cold at night especially where I live, close to the beach. So you can imagine how cold it gets especially when the tide is high. At night we can hear the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. It is a soothing sound as well as scary. I ask you how people who live where it actually snows survive. I wonder if I would!

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that last week and this has been awesome in my blogosphere world! I attended my first blog party at Suzie81 Speaks and made a lot of new friends and one of my new friends nominated me for the Liebster award. I got nominated, can you imagine that! And, one of my post ‘One day. Maybe got featured on Lifetitudes blog- that was the icing on the cake. All sorts of warm nice feeling going through me just remembering!

If we were having coffee, I will tell you about the xenophobic attacks in South Africa and how blessed I am that it’s not happening in Cape Town but in Johannesburg and Durban but that doesn’t make me feel any better because sometimes I am scared and also lives are being butchered because people are just plain wicked. I will tell you about how people I haven’t heard from in 10 years or in months have been reaching out to me to find out if I’m safe and I tell them that I am, I live in Cape Town. Oh and yeah, that I live among ‘white’ people. I know right! Living among ‘white’ people is such a comfort at times like this. I reached out to friends of mine yesterday who live in Johannesburg worried about their safety. Guess what they told me? Hey, we live in an all ‘white’ dominated suburb so we’re safe!

Can you imagine, that now living among ‘white’ people is a kind of protection against people who have the same color of skin as yours but just because you are a foreigner in their own country you are somewhat different and in danger? 

I don’t even want to go into details about the why’s and the what’s. About why I wonder why they are not attacking the white foreigners too. I don’t even read the news about the xenophobic attacks anymore. The images disturb me. I don’t think I was built to feel and take that much pain. I break into pieces. I am afraid that my heart would be filled with hate. Hate for ‘black’ South Africans. I’m seriously slipping into it so I try not to read about what wickedness they have been up to recently… but then if I hate, how am I different from them? Those people who are killing my people and other black African foreigners? How? Grouping every ‘black’ South Africans among the wicked ones just like the wicked ‘black’ South Africans have grouped all ‘black’ foreigners into a box of those who allegedly take their jobs, sell drugs and other alleged crimes? You see this does not make ‘hate’ and ‘killing’ acceptable. I remind myself that I have met wonderful ‘black’ South Africans. It is a constant battle not to let my heart be filled with hate. I want to hate. I seriously don’t know how Jesus does it, all that love even when we don’t deserve it? I duff my hat to Him today.

I miss home terribly at this moment. My colored Mr. S does not mind moving to my home. Oh yeah, that one too is very difficult to explain to people too. The ‘colored’ thing. At my home Mr.S is considered to be white! They get confused looks when he corrects them that he is ‘colored’? Why are you ‘colored’? Are you mixed? Questions! Here, South Africans are classed as White, Black or Colored. Don’t ask me to explain any further. I still haven’t understood it yet!

If only it was that easy to pack up and leave. What about those who can’t leave? Who come from war-torn countries? Where am I going to start from if I go home now and yes, I am now used to this country even though it was here that I realized that I was black! Seriously! It was a rude shock!! This place has become my home in the last 6 years. I’ve fallen in love with this place, the mountains, the beach close to my home, the weather that has mood swings like a troubled woman, the first time I conquered my fear of heights and climbed Lions Head which is 2,195 ft above sea level (I’ll never try that again!), I discovered the love of running, of cycling, first place I ever saw penguins (I kept looking for Mumble and hoping I’ll see him do the happy feet dance!), the first time I ever fell in love was here and love also found me in this country.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you how this very moment I really, really miss home. The saying “there’s no place like home” makes so much sense right now.

 

If We Were Having Coffee‘, a weekly ‘Weekend Coffee Share’ and link up hosted by Part-Time Monster.

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27 Comments

  1. If we were having coffee I would listen to you intently. And my reply would be, could we not see this coming? Then I would hold your hand and say, the good vastly outnumber the wicked and Almighty God is in control. The cure for South Africa is justice for all. A drowning man is likely to drown someone running to his rescue. At such moments they aren’t thinking clearly.

    * “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”*

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  2. I agree with the previous comments. If we were having coffee I would love to sit and listen to this story and talk all night and even have free refills :).

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  3. If we were having coffee I would tell you that you could talk as long as you wanted. I would tell you that I couldn’t begin to understand what you’re are going through, but that you are an overcomer. I would tell you that in the shore time that I have conversed with you, that you have encouraged me. I would also tell you that you have a beautiful way of expressing the world around you and engaging us all in that world. Well Done joyezeka. 🙂

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    1. Silverstein Potter! Now you want to make me cry this Sunday Morning where I am 🙂 I really feel blessed to have met you too especially after reading the story of your boys I knew- This friend here- is a keeper! Thank you for your words of encouragement, this one too shall pass, very soon, very very soon…

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  4. A really moving blog post. I don’t watch the news a great deal here in England, because it’s all about the election, but so far, I don’t recollect anything at all appearing about these sad and wicked events. Thanks very much.

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    1. Thanks John for reading. I guess the news stations in other parts of the world choose what they’ll show to the rest of the world. We’re praying it will stop soon before it spreads. Been going on for over 3 weeks now.

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  5. Thank you for writing about some of this. It’s so easy to miss the big events that are happening other places, especially to miss how they affect those who are in the midst of it. I hope for peace and comfort for you and for all of us, as Pollyanna-ish as that might sound.

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  6. If we were having coffee I’d give you a hug and hope everything will be okay. I too am speechless at your post. (I’d probably hand you a pair of cozy warm socks for the cold winter nights too.)

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  7. It is amazing how news in one place that is profound and heartbreaking barely makes it to the other side of the world. Earth is so big, and it is easy to forget that life goes on in so many different ways in so many other places. I have barely heard of the xenophobic attacks, and then only in a way that makes it easy to ignore and focus on my own life. Thank you for sharing news about them that makes me pay attention.

    Cape Town sounds so exotic to me here in the middle of America. And I would love to be able to hear the waves. We didn’t have a ton of snow this year–when there are a few inches on the ground, it really isn’t a big deal. When there are feet upon feet, like there are in the mountains or in Boston this year, it becomes a headache or a real problem in places that aren’t used to it.

    Thanks for the coffee!

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    1. Hi Sarah! Cape Town is exotic. Almost every place has its own story and something unique about it, I still haven’t explored half of it- soon. So sad about what its happening, i avoid any news on it especially after yesterdays gruesome news, I’ve asked God to please let it stop and not spread farther into South Africa though yesterday I was meant to believe that it is the Zulu’s (One of SA’s black tribe) who are attacking in Johannesburg and Durban and here in Cape Town we have Xhosa’s (another black tribe) not Zulu’s so that kind of gave me some relief. I’m glad you enjoyed coffee! Lets do this again sometime soon 🙂 ❤

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