The Place Called Hope

The place called Hope.

I have no idea where it is but I’d never find out if I don’t start on this journey.

I have been so lost for a long time and it’s time I took that journey especially if I have any hope of finding hope!

I’m excited about going to Hope!

motivation-thedesignbender-blog3

artwork by Zakari Atta

Memory-s

when I’m with you I have trouble looking at you because I’m afraid I won’t be able to take my eyes off you and you’ll catch me starring at you

that is so uncool.

but I wish I’ve got a photographic memory, to capture each moment second by second, and print them out and put in my album made specially for you

that will be so cool.

cos no matter where or how far or if I never get to see you again

I don’t want to ever forget.
never.

One day. Maybe.

One day maybe you’ll ask me to stay 
a little longer when I tell you, I have to go…

One day maybe you’ll call me on the phone
and tell me you miss me, and ask to see me…

One day maybe you’ll ask me out
for a cup of coffee, a movie or just go sit in the park…

One day maybe you’ll take my hand
slide your fingers through mine, just because…

One day maybe you’ll kiss me, look into my eyes
and tell me that I’m the best thing that has ever happened to you…

One day. 
Maybe.

Joy-Ezeka-2015

a letter to my son

Dear Son,

 
before you came
life was bleak, opaque
it seemed like i couldn’t move on anymore
i wanted to die
but then i’ll touch that big round pouch and i’ll get the strength to carry on
at least for one more day.
the next day
memories, bad memories come tearing me apart
and i really, really want to give up
but then you’ll kick just at that moment
to remind me that you’re with me always.
i couldn’t wait for you to come
i was so so anxious to see you.

 
years have passed now
but i remember that day like it was yesterday
it was so painful
i almost gave up
but i so wanted to see you
i wanted to love you
i wanted to forget the pain, the regrets, the betrayal, the heartaches
i knew you were going to be my saviour.
with these thoughts,
i pushed with determination as i screamed out in pain
and you came out
i looked at you and i laughed and i cried and i laughed
i couldn’t stop
oh God- it was you!
you were here at last
and you were so beautiful.
our first night together, i stayed and watched you sleep
i couldn’t believe that you came out of me
that you were all mine.

 
from that day,
you gave my life a new meaning
i had a reason-
to live
to laugh
to dance
to live again.
you are my laughter and my joy
my today and my tomorrow
my love and my life
you are my Son, my baby boy!

now, after so many years
when you look at me and smile,
these lyrics of this song comes to my head-

“thought I’d seen everything there was to see in this world
Now I’m not so sure I’ve really seen anything at all
I thought life could show me no surprises
And then you came and showed me I was wrong
I thought I’d been everywhere
I’ve climbed a mountain so high,
sailed the sea,
crossed the sky
And still I was nowhere at all,
until that day, you came to my senses
And your smile,
it made sense out of it all
I have seen the bluest skies,
rainbows that would make you cry
I have seen miracles that moved my soul,
days that changed my life
I have seen the brightest stars
shine like diamonds in the dark
Seen all the wonders of the world,
but I’ve never seen a smile
As beautiful as yours”

Thank you for choosing me
I love you
your mama

myLaughter

From Me to You… JUST LET IT GO

It’s been 10 days, 10 months, 10 years
Really not that long though…
They say time heals all wounds…humbug!
Such bollocks-tsk-who said that again?
Guy must have been high on cheap weed when he wrote that (with all due respect sir)
There are somethings time never heals, you know?
But what I think is that you make a choice and decide to move on…
You go on and get busy with life
Whatever it is you do-Job, School, Church…
You meet new people, have new hobbies, travel…
But if that thing, person or event really did matter to you, it will stay with you forever
There’ll always be places, songs, gestures, words, pictures, bible verses, poems,…
That will always remind you of who or what used to be
In time, the tears will flow less frequently till they stop
The pain will ache so badly till they numb out
Because you’ll come to a realization that there’s nothing you could have done about it and you’re comforted in His words…
His words that say He’s not going to bring to you that which you can’t handle
And you draw strength from that wisdom
And you then face each day, knowing that no matter what you’ve lost,
You can’t afford to lose your hope, your joy, your faith and most of all your praise
You may never know why it happened or what went wrong,
You just come to the realization that you must let it go- JUST LET IT GO

Now,
You must make a conscious effort-this you must do by choice
So whether you like it or not, wake up everyday believing that something wonderful is going to happen in each day
And when the storm comes and the wind don’t blow your way, adjust your sails and sail into a new adventure,
Live each day to the fullest
Love like you’ve never loved before,
Sing and dance with abandon like you just don’t care!
Do something! Anything!
Just decide to be happy, ecstatically happy!

Listen,
I don’t promise you the pain will go away
I don’t promise you that sometimes the tears will not flow without warning
I don’t promise you that you’ll always be spiritual about whatever challenge life brings to you
I don’t promise that you won’t blame yourself wondering if there was something, anything you could have done to have avoided that tragedy, that mistake
I don’t promise you also that you won’t often wonder whether you should have fought for what you believed in-
Isn’t that what they said? The wise ones?
“Go after you dreams?”
“If you don’t go after what you want you’ll never have it?”
“Don’t quit, every difficulty is an opportunity in disguise?”
“See it, believe it, make it happen?”
Seriously, the wise ones who came up with these quotes forgot to put a disclaimer at the bottom- “Terms and conditions apply. This does not apply to every situation.”…

And again I still cannot promise you that sometimes you will question Him because you still don’t understand the why, and you may never understand
But this one thing I can promise you
That His plans for you are good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope!
I can promise you also that He’ll never leave you or forsake you
And this I am so certain of and can promise without blinking- HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH!
And that will never, ever change-NEVER EVER!

let-it-go-joy-ezeka

Smart, Opinionated and Imperfect

Strong-and-Opinionated-Joy-Ezeka

I want to show the world that I don’t have to imitate Margaret Thatcher (talk about being gristle) to be the head of a first world nation…

I want to see “Joy” embody, as a woman of influence, a woman of change, a woman of impact- what women of my generation strive to make possible: the idea that I can be smart, opinionated and imperfect (and married to a guy who is smart, opinionated and imperfect) as well as have a family and an emotional life when in position of great responsibility.

All I need to do is, STAND MY GROUND, keep fighting even after everybody tells me to sit down and shut up or relax. 

I am not just in this race of life to show that a woman can do it- No- I am in it to WIN, and win I will! I will not just be distinguished, I will be distinguishable.

July 2009

 

p.s. I don’t know if I got all or some of these words from the excerpt of a book! During my good ol’ fashioned writing days, I found that I got inspired by words I read in books, wrote them out BUT did not write my source down 😦 i’m sure Google will help me with some.